Internal Warfare

This will be one of my rare "short and sweet" messages, intensely focused on one element. For the past several weeks, I have known something profound and life-altering has been working within me. This morning when I awoke, I knew in detail what it was. It is a resolve, issued from very, very deep within me. It cannot be revoked, altered, avoided, or perceived as a "give it more time" issue. It is simply this: I have issued an ultimatum to this parasitic entity which resides within me. It doesn't matter whether one thinks of it as an implanted computer program, or more organically, as a non-physical energy, such as Wetico, (see Dispelling Wetiko: Breaking the Curse of Evil). Another way of perceiving this is that I have issued this ultimatum to myself because this parasite is part of me at the non-physical level, as parasitic cancer is to the physical body, and like many people have dispelled cancer through the power of their minds, the power of my mind is the only way to rid myself of this. In any case, I refuse to live with this presence any longer, and the ultimatum is that one of us shall be destroyed. This was both terrifying and liberating at first, but as I got used to it, and accepted it, the terror has disappeared. Either way, I win. I am either freed from it, or, if I am destroyed, it is also destroyed in the process. I would rather sacrifice myself than allow these evil germs to continue plaguing the universe. For each one that is destroyed, there is more power on the side of good. I sense that I am far from being the only one reaching this ultimatum. Perhaps some of you have, too.

I can exist without it, but it cannot exist without me. That is the nature of parasitic relationships. If it kills me in this physical body, then so be it. I strongly suspect that this inner battle will continue in my non-physical existence, since the resolve was issued from that level. I also suspect that it has been with me for eons, specially crafted to control my personal and unique presence. I have finally submitted to this resolve at the physical level because I can no longer tolerate my existence with this force. Period. We see that happen in many ways at the physical level: a woman finally leaves her abusive husband and doesn't care what the consequences will be because anything is better than staying with him. People blow the whistle on criminal activity within governments and the military and other organizations because their inner being can no longer live with itself and submit to what they perceive as being so very wrong. This is like that, but even bigger because the physical threat comes from the non-physical realm. My earthly situation has been SO intolerable for SO MANY years, that it no longer matters what this thing does to me, and that is liberating because it breaks the fear/mind-control program. I will no longer submit to its connivances, bribes, false promises and hopes that things will get better if I just get through this one crisis. In reality, it is nothing but one long string of crises. Solving one generates another, and this is clear globally as well as personally. It is a way for this force to soothe us and to keep us from veering off its destructive path, while it feeds off our energy. Then we die and it returns with us in our next incarnation.

I suspect that prior to each incarnation, we are fooled into believing its persuasive lies. We, instead, probably without our knowledge, sell our soul to the devil, in exchange for the promise of a physical life of wealth, happiness, success, and all the other bullshit that drives humanity. But when we get here, many of us realize it was nothing but a bait-and-switch deal, in which, had we read the fine print, we would have seen that we were accepting a life of slavery. Many never realize it, and go with the program because they are doing so well. They have wealth, power, control (or think they do) of others, and so are forced to to participate in more and more loathsome activities in order to keep up the illusion that they are receiving their end of the bargain. In the public eye, Trump is the most glaring example, but this, too, shall pass. There are a great many on this list, both personal and corporate. Bill Gates, Jamie Dimon, Amazon, Facebook, Monsanto, most governments and government employees at all levels, and ditto for the military. All bought with great lies. But the day of reckoning is coming fast, and those who have not made a voluntary choice will have it made for them. Trump is certainly headed for the abyss. Elon Musk seems to be in total meltdown, too.

This force works on our inner data. It knows where our weak spots are, and uses them to cajole. With me, for so many years, I fought to protect my life's passion: my home and farm, my animals, and everything I have here that I love so deeply. Over my lifetime, an evil voice has whispered in my ear that if I do not submit, these precious parts of my life will be harmed or taken from me, so I submitted. However, about forty years ago, I started to seriously question what I was submitting to, and I didn't like my conclusions. It was at this point that I began my intense journey into spiritual consciousness. About thirty years ago was when I began to "remember" that at some point in my existence, I had a whole lot more power than I do now, and I started exploring ways to get it back. And then my hell began. Just like in the military, thou shalt not question authority. But I did, because I could not live any other way, and the more I did, the more my dreams began to crumble. Harsh punishment. And so with this final resolve, I have basically declared that this force can do whatever it wants. It can destroy all I care about and it can kill me, but nothing will change on my part. I cannot be seduced or terrorized any longer. I suspect that the end game is near. I have reached my final exam, which is the culmination of all my lifetimes imprisoned in the Matrix. Since this resolve comes from the core of my being and cannot be turned back, I am quite sure I will pass. Whether I am still in a body on this planet is quite up for grabs, but I do know that my life will be forever changed. With what I see going on in the world, a vast number of us are approaching the test, but few have studied the materials and integrated them into their consciousness.

But whatever happens, this resolve promises to bring me inner peace and freedom. I have spent so many decades with this internal warfare raging on within me. We all have—you can see it manifested everywhere in the world of endless wars and rage. Our current White House is the epitome of internal warfare, the rage and conflict within ourselves being played out for all to see. As above, so below. Our physical world is only a mirror of what is going on in the non-physical levels. For myself, I cannot tolerate it any longer. It is one thing after another after another. Enough. I mentioned in my last article that it seems I am always in a state of arriving, but never arrive. This changes everything, and though it may not fulfill my dreams as I had hoped, it is still a long, desperately needed resolution and culmination. I honestly do not know how it will all turn out. All I do know is I refuse to settle anymore for less than I am worth, and I refuse to be controlled and terrorized by a parasite that lives within me. What is the sense of living while being mind-controlled, stuck in a world of dictated limitations, when we are really multidimensional entities, born to create and traverse the universe? Here we are forced to be small when we are really without boundaries. Once one understands this truth, living as we are forced to live here becomes painful. When the pain reaches the highest level of intolerance, a massive shift occurs that ripples through every one of our incarnations—past, present and future, and that is where I find myself. At this point I have no expectations of the end result, other than I refuse to include this evil force as part of my life, no matter what the consequences. We shall see where it all goes.

Laughing Crow is a modern-day Shaman
who has been immersed in the study of
metaphysics for over 37 years. She is an
organic farmer, environmentalist, animal
rights activist, artist, and holistic healer,
(and a little bit of a geek).