I don't know about you, but these last few weeks have been a bit of living hell, and what's worse, I've felt like I've been floating in this surreal world, unable to function at the physical level. And yet I am, and I've made some wise decisions by not making a decision at all. I get like this periodically, and when I do, it usually means I'm on the verge of a major breakthrough, which often comes in a flash. This one is not. It is coming more like driving up to a road sign which is not readable at first, but becomes clearer as it becomes nearer. At this point I am almost hesitant to share the information I am about to present because it is more radical than anything I've written so far, (and my articles are off-the-wall anyways). But yet, I am finding myself pulled in this new direction and it is a sensible pull, so I am going readily.

I have spoken often about the chasm that is separating the human race as we move toward our final transition. There are those who are awake, or devoted to awakening, and who are, or will be leaving the old Operating System that is in place now on the planet—the Matrix, the simulated, computer-controlled illusion that for eons we have mistaken for real. And there are those who are completely earthbound, who are becoming more sucked in to believing that what we're experiencing in this interactive computer game is actually real. Those who are so stuck are becoming more "robotic"—fully lacking any resistance to the transhuman agenda. I recently spoke to a person I've known for years and hardly ever see, and the contrast between her perceptions of the world and mine were horrifying. But even more important, I am seeing yet another great chasm opening up and it is a dividing point between those of us who ARE in the process of awakening.

I have mentioned frequently that I do not believe the alternative news much more than the mainstream media, and I tend to stay away from both. The problem is, that too many people have become "popular" (which often means earning a living through their viewpoints), and therefore, have not updated their databases. We are not living in a static state, and we must be willing to review our perceptions on a daily basis. Too many people are saying the same things they've been saying for years and years, and that information is way past obsolete. We are in a simulated reality, and an interactive one, too, and the interactive aspect is through our thought and perception process, not what we do physically.

It is a war of minds, it is a war of minds, it is a war of minds. (I believe I've said that before on several occasions.)

In any case, I am discovering now that what is happening to me can be perceived in two totally different viewpoints, exclusive of each other. A dichotomy. And I suspect that choosing the correct perception will quicken my removal from this collapsing illusion, which is hastening at an ever accelerating rate.

Here is a rundown on my last few weeks. I feel like I'm covered with bruises from all the brick walls I've hit. There's been a roadblock for every single tiny goal I've tried to accomplish. It would be humorous if it wasn't so pathetic. This is a condensed version, because I would have to write a short book to communicate everything that's happened to me.

Part 1

Batteries on both computers go dead. (Really—again.)
First computer refuses to boot. (I think I know how to remedy that, but haven't had a chance because of all the other shit going on.)
Get third computer going.
Second and third computer refuse to recognize my tablet. Unable to transfer ebooks. BIG problem.
Waste a week on that and finally called Dylan at Staples. He suggested I get a mini USB cable that plugs into my tablet on one end and flash drive on the other. Good idea. Will try that, they're pretty cheap.
Had to go somewhere. Clutch goes out on truck. BIG problem. Thought I could make it home. Stranded at Ravenna Giant Eagle.

I looked underneath and could see that it was the brake fluid line going from the reservoir to the slave cylinder of the clutch. I could SEE it squirting out onto my wheel well. And here is where it gets surreal. I got AAA to tow me home, then started calling mechanics, including a Ford dealership. Answer from all: you have to drop the transmission to get to the slave cylinder. (Wrong answer.) BUT THE LEAK IS EXTERNAL. Nope, you gotta drop the transmission. $800. (I only paid $1,000 for this truck five years ago so that wasn't an option.) Finally called Murphy Muffler in Alliance. (330-823-2500. If you live in Stark or Portage County in Ohio PLEASE go to them—I've been going there for years.) But they don't do transmissions, so I asked them if they knew an honest garage that did. Yes, his name is Cory, and he just happened to be there picking up a car. So I told him what happened, and asked how much he would charge to drop the transmission. After a pause, he answers, "Why would you need to drop the transmission? The leak is external." Right answer. Finally.

So, I call AAA back nearly a week after they towed it home. Nope, they won't pick up my truck because they already hauled it to my house. WHAT? SERIOUSLY? I've been a member of AAA for 37 years and you're telling me you won't pick up my vehicle at my house? NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS HAVE I GOTTEN THAT ANSWER. So I called the local branch and told her what this lady said. She was perplexed as to why I would have gotten that answer. SHE called the emergency hotline. Truck picked up and hauled off. Clutch fixed. $200. And AAA traced my call to find what employee gave me that erroneous answer. I was without a vehicle for almost a week because of these games people played with me.

Same day. I got up in the morning and got on my computer. Email from Vonage saying there wasn't enough money in my account to cover my monthly bill. Hmmm. Knew there was, but just to make sure, I called the 800 number of my bank to make sure. Got on Vonage account page and made the payment manually. Reopened my email and found THEY HAD TAKEN THE PAYMENT OUT TWICE. Contacted Vonage. We'll give you a refund in 4-5 days. No, you won't, you will refund it now because there isn't enough money to cover both payments and I am stranded without transportation. (I only keep enough money in my account to cover bills I need to pay. I don't trust banks. Imagine that.) Sorry, we'll do what we can. IT WAS YOUR FAULT THE PAYMENT WAS TAKEN OUT TWICE. Called my bank to let them know what happened. Sorry, we'll overdraw your account if Vonage tries to take out the second payment. BUT THEY ISSUED A REFUND. Sorry, there's nothing we can do. IN THAT CASE, I WILL CLOSE MY ACCOUNT IF YOU OVERDRAW IT. (Fucking bitch.) Called back Vonage and told them the same. We will pay your overdraft fee if that happens. Thank you. Didn't overdraw, by the way.

And that's just a smattering of the way my past few weeks have been. Actually, it's been about 18 years since I have been so out of sync with the physical world. I used to think there was some "spiritual deficiency" in me until I finally realized that those who are on the edge of leaving the Matrix are constantly being pulled back into it by having to deal with physical issues to keep them bound. No matter how bad the physical stuff gets, I am learning to detach from it. That's probably one reason why it took me so long to finally have my truck towed to a garage. I refused to succumb to their attempts to control me, because once they've got you, it gives them access to control even more of your physical world, (which of course is really your mind). I operated under the assumption that I would create an acceptable solution.

And that is a true and correct answer. But there is another answer just as true and correct, hence the dichotomy. Having to live like this has made me extremely independent, and able to operate outside the Matrix, because obviously I cannot function within it. Having little control over my physical world has made me develop my non-physical gifts, and believe me, those who have not developed them are heading into extinction. I am seeing it all over the place now—people who thought they had their lives all under control are finding they have nothing under control and are collapsing under the weight of it all. I used to think there was some "higher being" "helping me," but that is all a bunch of bullshit. It is ME who is helping me—those hidden programs running in the background with enough memory to guide me out. And I find that after I go through a really bad bout like this, my consciousness takes a soaring leap forward. And the more forward I move, the less in sync I am with this world. As I adjust, after each of these episodes, I find myself moving farther and farther away from this reality. As I witness common people's behavior, it strikes me just how much removed I have become.

So, anyways, since both of these answers are "correct," the trick is choosing the one to focus on that will be most beneficial, and that would be the second one. We are all coming to extremely important forks on the road now, even those of us who are very advanced in this process, so it is important that we are able to perceive that there is more than one "correct" answer, and choose the one which will propel us forward and out.

This is going to be a longer than usual article, but I hope you bear with me. Read it in two sessions if you need to in order to keep your concentration.

Part 2

OK, this one is going to be a bit more difficult for probably most of you to deal with, and I have withheld writing about it because it is really controversial information and will probably piss off some people and that's OK. I gotta say what I gotta say.

Years ago when I moved back home and started the farm as a business, I went around doing public speaking on the environment. Thirty years ago, even though this farm was still fertile and I was able to grow a great deal with effort, it was nothing like it was while I was growing up, so I could see the ravages of a population growing way out of control. The warning I sounded in every speech was that if we did not voluntarily change our ways, Mother Earth would change them for us involuntarily.

But gradually something very creepy snuck in. Every summer, it seemed that Mother Earth had less and less energy, until eventually, she had lost her spirit all together. I began to feel as if I was living on a planet devoid of a soul, and the yield from my efforts in farming reflected it at an ever worsening rate.

My old theory gave way to the one currently in vogue, that it is not over-population at all, but the acts of governments and the military to "de-populate," kill off the planet through chemtrails, electromagnetics, mind control, vaccines, fluoride, radioactive waste, etc. And this is a true statement. But there is a dichotomy.

For the past 8-10 months or so, I've begun to think there is something wrong with this current theory, and one article I read, on Dane's site, actually, really sickened me to the point where I had to make a decision as to what I would buy into. And the current theories are not it.

Because there are too many things that just don't add up. Supposedly, as many believe, the governments, (federal and state), politicians, military, probably bankers and all involved are going to kill off the population while they go underground and wait for the time when they can emerge again.

I'm sorry, but that's just fucking stupid. I mean, if you were one of these people, would you voluntarily kill off your neighbors (and at the same time, kill off your family and possibly yourself) by strewing the planet with poisons and in all ways making it inhabitable so you could go live in a hole like a cicada until it was time for you to emerge? Really? If you were wealthy, would you give up your houses and cars and yachts and bank accounts because Obama promised you the world? And we are talking millions of people that would have to be involved here, agreeing to live like sardines in an enormous underground dwelling. Where? In the desert? Where's the water, and food and air to breathe. I just can't buy into that one. However. . . .

And this is what is really going to piss off a lot of people, but I think the only way out of here is to greatly reduce the population. (But who is really doing the depopulating?) There are just way too many people on this planet for the energy to even move. Sardines, again. Packed tight in a can. Rats in a cage. People talk about "unity." C'mon, use your one remaining brain cell molecule. Do you think unity is possible with EIGHT BILLION people on the planet? Well, yes. But only if. IF it is a computer simulated reality, programmed for all entities to think alike. OK, so we're getting into many different dichotomies, where possibilities spilt off, and you have to take the exact correct course that makes sense and gets you out. People ARE NOT thinking with their minds. They are still thinking with their emotions, and worse yet, with the conventional attitudes in which they were brought up, and the worst one is that having as many babies as you want is OK. IT IS NOT OK. We have killed off the rest of the planet though overpopulation, abuse of natural resources, and wastefulness. IT IS NOT OK.

Furthermore, if these Controllers, as many believe, are nothing but parasites on our energy, (which I DO believe), why would they want to kill us off? Everything you see in the media is about sex: sex appeal, sexy clothes, sexy movie stars, have more sex. Sex brings babies. Have lots of babies. It seems that if they were trying to de-populate, they would be discouraging the masses from having babies. They are not. Think about it. It makes no sense.

Lately, this summer in fact, I've noticed a subtle change in Mother Earth herself. She is showing inklings of spirit again. I have birds land on me or flutter in my face when I am sitting on the porch reading or coloring—chickadees, tufted titmice, and even hummingbirds. There is a sign of awakening—that perhaps MOTHER HERSELF is returning after her exile, while the false simulated earth took her place. It is still very subtle, but growing stronger, and I am finding myself going back to my original theory, that IF WE DO NOT VOLUNTARILY CHANGE OUR WAYS, MOTHER EARTH WILL CHANGE THEM FOR US INVOLUNTARILY. I began to marvel at this, and a couple days later an article made its way onto my desktop. There are quite a few points I disagree with, but enough I DO agree with to make it something I would link. It is called Does Mother Nature Know What She is Doing? Again, there is quite a bit I disagree with but I found it interesting that this article would show up after I was able to mentally verbalize what I was perceiving anew.

So, I'm finding that I am returning to my old theories. Do I still believe that chemtrails are deadly? Yes, absolutely. But I have now begun to question their, not physical, but energetic source. We know they are members of the U.S. military doing the spraying, but when I watch them, there seems to be something very detached and surreal about the whole process. I mean, they are local people, spraying poison on their own families. There is something just too bizarre in that, which can only be answered in metaphysical terms. Meaning that there is an independent process going on here that seems to be on the physical level but is not.

And so here are my, at least temporary conclusions, until I am able to access more data.

Perhaps it is WE, those who have come to earth at this time with a specific purpose, we, who are the HUMAN MALWAREBYTES. We are the ones who will purge the planet.

Something else very uncanny also fell into my lap just a couple days ago, and to this article, I will link the results at the bottom of this page. When I finally got my wheels back, but not my tablet's ability to be recognized by Computers 2 and 3, I went to the library, and loaded my new eBooks onto my tablet from a flash drive. One, two actually, were on the Gospel of Thomas, a gnostic work that opened my eyes to important and relevant passages in the traditional Gospels. It occurred to me that in fact, Jesus was saying that we would divide, not unify, and there would be destruction at the hands of those who were called. Perhaps it is our energy that is fueling the fires that will purge the planet. A program running in the background, but running nonetheless. The Gnostics discourage childbirth. They also believe that we were once androgynous. I have never been one to support childbirth. There are WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE on this planet, of a limited space, and half of them are starving. Why would people bring more people into the world when they can't even feed themselves? That is nothing short of insanity. But I also believe that we were originally androgynous, not having sexual organs of both sexes, but neither having nor needing either. Beings simply incarnated from spiritual energy. There was no possibility of over-population. Beings were able to create what they needed and wanted through their own energy fields. There was no need for unity. Everyone was an individual.

Sigh. So there it is. You will no doubt hear more of this in the future. Here are the links which I urge you to follow:

Division and Destruction
The Gospel of Thomas (F. F. Bruce)
The Virgin Birth

Laughing Crow is a modern-day Shaman
who has been immersed in the study of
metaphysics for over 35 years. She is an
organic farmer, environmentalist, animal
rights activist, artist, and holistic healer,
(and a little bit of a geek).

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